I feel so beat up.
Long story short, my professor sent out an e-mail on BBVista something about group presentations for tomorrow (or rather...today in 5 hours), but I don't think my group knows that I am in their group because I got no e-mails from them in the past five days since he sent this thing out. And I don't know any names of the people in my group, but even if I did, it wouldn't matter because I never check BBVista and so I didn't even find out about this assignment until now. FIVE. HOURS. BEFORE. CLASS. This is the only class I've ever really had to use BBVista at all so I'm not used to having to check it, but I know that's no excuse.
And this isn't even the most of my problems. It's just one example among many that I'm just clueless and oblivious to what's going around me in school. Thesis is due in two weeks and what have I done, exactly? All these ideas but no where close to being finished. I don't even know if I'll be able to graduate, and that freaks me out. How will I explain to my parents? What do I even say?
I feel so miserable, as I always do when it comes to school, and I'm so overwhelmed by the amount of work I've piled up for myself. The next two weeks are going to be grueling and painful, and I just can't find the motivation to work. I don't know what to do. I feel so weak and sad...and tired. I'm just tired all the time.
Lost sheep.
Long story short, my professor sent out an e-mail on BBVista something about group presentations for tomorrow (or rather...today in 5 hours), but I don't think my group knows that I am in their group because I got no e-mails from them in the past five days since he sent this thing out. And I don't know any names of the people in my group, but even if I did, it wouldn't matter because I never check BBVista and so I didn't even find out about this assignment until now. FIVE. HOURS. BEFORE. CLASS. This is the only class I've ever really had to use BBVista at all so I'm not used to having to check it, but I know that's no excuse.
And this isn't even the most of my problems. It's just one example among many that I'm just clueless and oblivious to what's going around me in school. Thesis is due in two weeks and what have I done, exactly? All these ideas but no where close to being finished. I don't even know if I'll be able to graduate, and that freaks me out. How will I explain to my parents? What do I even say?
I feel so miserable, as I always do when it comes to school, and I'm so overwhelmed by the amount of work I've piled up for myself. The next two weeks are going to be grueling and painful, and I just can't find the motivation to work. I don't know what to do. I feel so weak and sad...and tired. I'm just tired all the time.
Lost sheep.
Labels: deadlines, fears, finals, frustrations, ugh, weariness
Written on Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 1:57 AM
by tini
all the bad news i've recieved in the past two hours
-will be three credits short for graduation even if i take the full amount of credits next term
-rental house for spring break said they can't rent it out to us anymore
-one person bailed on spring break
I guess it's not as much as I thought...so why do I feel such a heavy burden?
Because it means now I have to figure out what I'm going to do in terms of graduation and finishing my degree (not to mention tell my parents the situation), find a new house two days before our supposed spring break trip, and figure out how I'm going to pay for the trip when so many people keep saying they want to come/can't end up coming.
And I still have to finish this 10-page paper that was due Wednesday and I still have an Incomplete in packaging design and because I don't have a grade for that I can't register for thesis and I have to go to FNL in an hour and then have a meeting for grad night and then meeting with xxx to show my sketches and THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON AT ONE TIME.
-rental house for spring break said they can't rent it out to us anymore
-one person bailed on spring break
I guess it's not as much as I thought...so why do I feel such a heavy burden?
Because it means now I have to figure out what I'm going to do in terms of graduation and finishing my degree (not to mention tell my parents the situation), find a new house two days before our supposed spring break trip, and figure out how I'm going to pay for the trip when so many people keep saying they want to come/can't end up coming.
And I still have to finish this 10-page paper that was due Wednesday and I still have an Incomplete in packaging design and because I don't have a grade for that I can't register for thesis and I have to go to FNL in an hour and then have a meeting for grad night and then meeting with xxx to show my sketches and THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON AT ONE TIME.
Labels: frustrations, ugh, weariness
Written on Friday, March 23, 2012 at 3:16 PM
by tini
roommate troubles
I'm a terrible roommate.
If there is one person whom I am challenged to love, it is my roommate. She was okay when I moved in with her, but that was until I realized how passive aggressive she is. If there's one thing that I really get frustrated at, it's passive-aggressiveness. It annoys me to no end when she leaves me little notes on my laptop, or texts messages to do this and do that, and it makes me want to flip tables over when I see her tweet trash about me without ever just talking to me face to face.
When I look at my roommate, I see someone God has placed in my life to love and serve. It's to the point where I am 100% aware in my head, "I need to be patient. I need to love her. I need to serve her the way a roommate would want to be served." Basically, if there's anyone I know whom needs my love and servanthood, my roommate is the first one that comes to mind.
But the most obvious to love and serve is also the most difficult to do so. I know I'm a messy person to live with (although I do get proud of the fact that I am at least not a dirty person), and I really do try my best to keep it tame and not get totally out of control, but there are times when things get a little crazy (like during finals) and I expect my roommate to just understand. But she never does. And she tweets about me like crazy instead of just talking to me. And every time she tweets about me, I get super bitter. I drop everything and just clean, even the things she doesn't want me to do, because I know to serve her is to go beyond what she expects. But honestly, I'm not really serving her. My bitterness makes it into an attack. Even though it's not directly hurting her, my mind constantly attacks her, and I often mutter under my breath as I clean.
1 John 3:15 says, "Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him."
I don't know how to be better. It seems impossible to love when I don't want to love; how do I love someone who's so unlovable to me? I don't know how to be better.
Labels: confession, frustrations, self-improvement, ugh
Written on Thursday, December 8, 2011 at 11:27 PM
by tini
why
Why oh why am I graphic design major...
If I were any other major I could just study study study until I didn't want to anymore and suffer the consequences but I cannot just decide to not make my book and get partial credit for tomorrows critique UGH UGH UGH.
Written on Sunday, December 4, 2011 at 8:22 PM
by tini