Shoot. Shoot shoot shoot.

I honestly can't tell if God's timing is telling me to not like him or if that's just how life plays out sometimes. I don't know if it's because I want it to be the way life plays out sometimes and I'm actually in denial that it may just well be God's timing.

But whhhyyy?

I have confidence. I have confidence that he likes me back. And I'm not worried and calculated like some of my friends are, or like some of my friends tell me to be. I'm go-with-the-flow; I enjoy my time hanging out with him without expecting anything more.

It is getting tiring, though. Are you leading me on? Can't you just give me a straight answer? You either like me or you don't.

And why is it so hard to just let go? Because I don't want to ruin my friendship with him. Because I don't want "letting go" mean to sever all ties with him.

But maybe that's what I have to do; after all, it's not like he's been a good friend to me, too. All along, he's been a good "in-between", and I hate in-between's.

Soon, I'll have to make a decision and I feel like, either way, I'm going to get hurt if I don't properly guard my heart.

Labels: boys, frustrations, thoughts